Do you think I am fat?

That was the question from my beautiful six, almost seven, year old daughter the other evening.

Oh god. 

My mind went blank (for a bit). 

One of the (many) things I love about my daughter is how unselfconscious she is. Back in January, I had written about how out of the blue, she had stated confidently that your tummy is always going to be your poofiest part. Not many bones…

There was no thought about her body, positive or negative. It just was. 

While it never made it out of drafts, I had wondered when it would change? When do the comments start in changing rooms? Usually the skinniest girl saying ‘I am so fat’, with the rush of reassurance ‘well if you are, …’ or was that just my experience?!

If you are your own biggest critic, how do you protect against the annoying little voice. I know it can take little to trigger it into a deafening shout. And while I have not been in that situation, it’s still taken me a while to work out how to quieten or ignore it. It’s probably a work in progress. I’m sure that everyone has their own journey of understanding who they are. And hopefully somewhere along the line accepting/getting comfortable with it...

But this might be my biggest fear – now that there seems to be ever more focus on the external packaging, how do you protect your child from the craziness?

It might have helped if I had spent more time wondering about what I would do when confronted with such an event!

What I heard come out was “No, of course not. Are you a fast runner? Do you love doing cartwheels? Do you love dancing?”

Luckily all yes. 

“You’re strong and healthy. That’s what’s important. Not how skinny or fat someone is.”

As I replay the conversation, I have no idea whether it was the right or wrong tack. Whether she’ll remember it or, hopefully, not think of it again for a really long time. 

However, at least fortuitously, there were no “helpful” comments from her brother. 

What do you see when you look at your reflection?