Author: toughmotheruk

I never thought I’d be saying this… but we got a pool.

Well, it’s more like a glorified paddling pool. But still.

It’s mostly due to my daughter’s sales job. It took me by surprise and, if I was an innocent bystander, would have been a joy to watch.

Day 1: Mum, I think we need a pool. You don’t have to say yes to it now, you just need to say yes to thinking about it.

Day 3: Mum, you know the pool, I’ve been thinking about it, and now we can’t have swimming lessons, it would be a good way for us to practice, and you know how you like us getting exercise. It would help with that too.

Day 4: Mum, the pool would also be a learning experience – we need to read the instructions and do maths to work out how much space and water it needs.

Day 6: (sending in Dad) It would be a good way to encourage the kids to spend time outside (doesn’t pushing them outside and locking the door achieve this?!). I think I’ve found one that would fit in the garden…

Day 7: The pool is purchased.

Day 9: The filter arrives.

Day 14: The pool arrives (finally). My daughter has been learning dilemma stories in English. Her dilemma for the day… do they jump in while the pool is filling, or wait until it’s full?

It was a short story.

So today is Star Wars day apparently. I didn’t get that memo but the force was with us a few weeks ago.

I suggested a quiz at work. Except, I got to Friday and hadn’t prepared the questions.

Coming downstairs between calls, I asked the kids whether they’d mind setting some questions. I suggested a Star Wars theme. ‘Why’? Ok then, fun facts about Britain?

Star Wars it is then.

I was a bit concerned when I read through the questions later – I managed a score of 4.
And that’s including the one I got which they said didn’t have a right answer… we managed to sort that out…

So we got to 5pm, and work colleagues were treated to the Quiz Show.

I’m not sure the like will ever be experienced again…

Including, my daughter kicking off with a classic anecdote… my colleagues all heard that I didn’t hug my family a lot, so she’d recommended I just pretend to give people a right hook and turn it into a hug instead…

And, of course, my son accidentally taking a slug of gin, instead of his lemonade.

So in case you need five minutes of diversion:

• Name 3 planets in Star Wars?
• Why is Star Wars called Star Wars?
• What colour was Luke Skywalker’s light sabre?
• Name 3 types of bad guy troops?
• Name 3 good guys?

… then it got a bit tricky, culminating in …

In how many parsecs did Han Solo’s ship do the Kessel Run?

So Home Primary has been on Easter Holidays this week. While we’ve not managed to get through the set curriculum yet, the kids managed to get a pass after cleaning their rooms on Monday.

They started strongly, with my son getting his head stuck in the clothes rack. Apparently while looking for a plug. Admittedly, this was to vacuum the floor for what might have been the second time in his life.

My daughter then got her tongue stuck to an ice cube.

Lesson one: look with your eyes.

Wednesday saw us at the local park doing some shuttles – for all of about five minutes. My daughter then got stuck up a tree, while my son got my jacket caught on a neighbouring tree.

Our rule has always been if you go up, you must get yourself down.

I apologise to the neighbours for the resulting dawn chorus. 

Lesson two: work out how to get yourself out of a tight spot.

For some reason, my daughter has also started to panic when the kettle (or jug as it’s known in kiwi) boils. It‘s unclear what’s prompted this, but she is responding well to tea therapy – and I’m enjoying the fruits of her labour…

Lesson three: face your fear, then have a cuppa.

I might need one or two when school starts again tomorrow…

Wow.

We’ve just finished the last Lord of the Rings movie.

I was a bit worried to begin with about whether the kids were old enough at (almost) 8 and 10 to watch it.

We definitely had a bit of pause and hide as we worked our way there and back again with the Hobbit.

With the Lord of the Rings, I noticed a more scientific approach…

Who do you think would win between the Romans and the Orcs?

Who do you like more, the dwarves or the elves?

Why do hobbits have such hairy feet?

Can we have breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper? I suspect I might be part Hobbit when only one of those seemed unreasonable…

It‘s kept us all entertained over the last six weekends (they tried to sneak in a Thursday viewing but they were told not to be hasty) – a constant in a world of change.

There’s not many movies that can each take care of Friday, Saturday and Sunday night viewing (extended versions all the way).

The next adventure – working out what’s next! Ideas please!

So with the kids now as work colleagues, the workday stress-o-meter might have gone up a bit.

While on a whole, we have adapted ok to the exponential increase in “family time”, there are some definite pinch points…

The other day it took 45 minutes for my husband to get my daughter out of the house for their daily exercise. This also involved taking away the devices and tv for 36 hours (not sure whether that was a punishment for them or for us) and my son putting a hand written sign up against my window which ended with “p.s. please help”.

Talking to my daughter about this later (after a very successful outing), she explained to me “Sometimes the adults don’t listen to the kids and then the adults start shouting at the kids and the kids start shouting back and it all goes haywire…”

Hmm, she forgot step one where the kids don’t listen to the parents….

However, all was forgiven and as she exited the room she announced, “You’re the best mum in Africa, oh no we’re not in Africa, but we are in England and that’s in the galaxy, or is it the Milky Way?”

Me: the Milky Way is our galaxy.

“Mum, you got this.“

Phew.

End of week one of Home Primary (if you’re my son) or Home Academy (if you’re my daughter). They couldn’t agree so they got their own school naming rights.

What have we learnt?

My mother-in-law’s sewing machines are way too complicated for me. Reading the instructions is an activity I’m saving for week 7.

My son has confirmed his preference for routine – we’ve had the PE uniform on five mornings a week for Joe Wicks.

My daughter has confirmed her aversion to routine, or at least to Joe.

Why spray paint the fence, when using a paint brush takes ten times longer.

Strawberries and raspberries are not berries. Bananas and avocados are. (I knew about tomatoes but the teacher became the student for that fun fact!).

What will week 2 hold?!

Any moment now, I’m expecting someone to jump out from behind the nearest object and shout “cut”.

We’d joked about zombie apocalypse preparedness (I’d only just discovered it was an actual thing) when I was last in San Francisco. Now it feels oddly prophetic…

Obviously there’s been lots of questions from the kids over the past few weeks:

• what happens?
• are we going to go back to New Zealand?
• do I have to go to rugby? (Not any more…)
• do we have to go to school?
• when will school start again?
• will [insert name here] die?
• can we have a pajama day?

Some questions are easier to answer than others – although with things changing so fast, it’s tricky to predict what’s next on the cards.

Kids do have a way of grounding things in the here and now, particularly as it’s apparently my job as a parent to steer us through safely (and calmly?!). Although as we enter the realm of home schooling, the next post might be about resilience…

So one of the benefits of a last minute change in entry for the Coast to Coast was that I had a neutral bib. It could have been a proper one with my name and flag on it. 

Landing in NZ is coming home. It is the U.K. on steroids – mountains are higher, the rivers are colder and flow faster. It is raw, majestic, real.

I honestly can’t remember whether I chose New Zealand or the UK. But in hindsight, it seemed pretty appropriate.

Dipping my hand in the Tasman Sea at dawn seemed as spiritual as being in St Peters in Rome.

That said, coming back to the U.K. is also home. I practiced finding the eddies in Waterloo so that I didn’t get swept up in the flow of the morning commute.

But I still marvel when I see Tower Bridge, St Paul’s Cathedral, even the London Eye. Outside the city, you can still sense the presence of people. It‘s intertwined with the land. The influence of those who have come before.

Home.

After months of training, and the kids matter of factly observing that I was off for a run/kayak/cycle, we finally headed to NZ for the Kathmandu Coast to Coast- 240km from the wild West Coast of the South Island to Christchurch. 

Crossing the finish line at New Brighton in Christchurch was one of those unforgettable moments. It‘s hard to describe the experience of completing the event even now a few weeks on. Lots of superlatives come to mind, but how to capture the impact? The series of events that made it such a special experience.

First and foremost, it was the people who were part of it.

We have some amazing friends and family who were prepared to open their homes to our kids for almost two weeks. And great kids who were happy to do so. Which meant I could share the experience with my husband.

They’d already put up with the many hours of training – although my daughter was happy to leave the kayaking to me after our second experience (that’s a story for another time!).

The response to supporting Cancer Research was immense. So many people have been impacted in different ways but the donations – including all the messages – blew my target out of the water.

Then from the point of touch down, and the almost constant presence of family and friends, I was surrounded by people excited for me and the challenge (well, mum might have been a wee bit nervous about the kayak….).

Sharing a six bed bunk room with said husband, a couple of brothers, sister, and in-law at the top of a ski field mid race is definitely a once in a lifetime event!

Added to that were the messages from family, friends and colleagues back in the U.K., Oz, and the U.S. The ones coming through on my fancy watch at the top of the 16 degree Otira Viaduct slog particularly helpful at getting my legs working again!

I didn’t expect people to be interested in following the little name on the map as I made my way from one side of the country to the other.

It was uplifting, humbling, magic.

Thanks for sharing it with me!

I’m on the countdown to the Coast to Coast – 240km from one side of NZ to the other. The kids have been very patient with my training (when they notice), but I was taken in hand by my seven year old daughter the other day on our way to school. 

She was cycling. I was running. 

Not well enough apparently. 

“Mum, kick your heels up. So they almost touch your bum.”

“Now drive your arms back. That’s how I get my speed.”

I was already rather bemused, when she made me stop and said very seriously, “Now I have two rules:

1. Try your hardest.
2. Never give up.

And, always have fun…”

Is that three rules?

“Nope, that goes without saying.”