There’s a special kind of broken that kids are when they return from a school camp or other type of non-family adventure.
There will be some kind of meltdown – I try hard to make sure this is not me, but it has been close…
So to try to avoid this, we’ve identified a few steps:
1) do not ask questions. Our children do not want to tell you what they’ve done or whether they’ve had fun. The fact that they’ve returned in one piece (hopefully) can be taken as evidence of both.
2) make sure you feed them rapidly.
3) do not take anything personally. They will be a dick. It’s not you.
4) ideally get them into bed as soon as possible to minimise the risk of of 1 and 3.
I thought I’d nailed recently when my daughter returned from a week away. I had the snack ready for when she got off the train, I backpedaled rapidly when I asked whether she wanted the speedy way or the easy way home, and the silence was deafening as we travelled (for me anyway as she kept her headphones on).
I was even rewarded for my patience by a four minute download (after some ice cream). Easy.
What I misjudged was the recovery time.
I got home from work the next day expecting a return to normal programming. I had not anticipated delayed onset grumpiness syndrome or D.O.G.S. if you will…
So I’m adding an extra step:
5) maintain steps 1-4 for 24 to 48 hours.
Tough Mother 